Sunday, November 20, 2005

Saturday night and I am alone in my room after a sleazy afternoon and a tiring work in the evening. My mind was wandering around...back to my dearest family, lovely home sweet home, and my precious country, Indonesia. *Tanah airkuh Indonesia....negeri elok amat kucinta....

My sister just returned two days ago. Adding another member in the house. Still, I am stuck....at 'the red dot on the map'.

What are they doing? Where did they go for dinner? What did they have? Do they miss me when I'm the only one who isn't there? Does life feel complete enough? Where were they this evening? What stories did they tell? What jokes did they share? What's new? How's life? and....so....many....more...questions...flying...and...shooting...around...

I miss being at home. Being treated as the lil princess.

Where....I get what I want. I get to choose where to eat, what to eat. I get to try new eating places. I can have those pair of shoes and jeans. I get to know more friends. I get to have my own set of TV. I set my own channel, I get to hold that remote ^^v. I have my own room. I can cook. I get to buy cheap DVDs, and cry my eyes out for watching 'em. I can have my own karaoke session and the list continue...

Yet, when I think about it, what makes it actually different from here. I can get what I want as well. I can have those new pairs of jeans and shoes if I want to. I am having my own room now. I can just go off to the nearest karaoke halls. I can ...

They are just not here, physically.
I don't get to sense their presence in person.
I can't see their eyes when I talk to them.
The communication is very much mediated.

I MISS HOME. I MISS THEM ALL.

Nevertheless, I know they miss me deeply *hihi* They care about me more than anyone else. And they know that I do, too. They trust me and love me for who I am, unconditionally. Above all their wishes lies my happiness.

So, I realized that eventhough they are not here physically, and I am not there physically, we are still ONE. And no one can take that away. NO ONE I say...

I am happy for the four of them. And although I am not with them, I am still at home. Coz home is where the heart is....and they know they have captured mine since day one.


*29 days to go ^o^


ps: Oh and..the previous entry has generated comments more than ever I think hehe *now I know why sensationalism sells hoho...jk2 ^.^'*

Posted by Ddee at 12:13 AM

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