Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"Ban Zhang, ni pao de tai kuai."

(Class monitor, you're running too fast)

We couldn't follow you...couldn't run with you...

A friend in high-school once wrote this to me. When we were exchanging the class picture to be written messages and signed, I received this message... from a friend, a friend whom I was not closely related back then, a friend who was playing around, a friend who live-today-to-the-fullest-kind of friend.

Shocking huh!...

Yes, shocking enough for me. For I didn't expect such message, for I didn't expect it from such a friend, for I didn't expect him to understand...
For I didn't expect it myself...

Did I run too fast? Did I leave my friends behind? Did I have no time to enjoy the 'flowers on the roadside'? Did I realize what I am doing with my life? Was I alone? Was no one able to catch me and run with me?

Suddenly, this memory snapped me again today. Again...coz this is not the first time I recalled this message. Am I still running too fast? Am I leaving my friends behind? Am I alone?

Don't I get tired? Don't I wish that I live a 'normal' life just like others? Don't I want to 'look around' and enjoy what I have instead of merely looking straight to the front?

On my second thought, I always enjoy my holiday at home.
It's always the time when I don't have to do anything, just sit back and relax.
It's the time when I can take off my shoes and stop running.
It's the time when I can just talk about anything else and they understand.
It's also the time when I can let them hold my hand and guide me when I'm lost.
It's the time when I can lean my head on their shoulders when I need to rest.
It's the time when I can be sure that nothing weights more to them than my happiness.
It's always the time when I know I need not fear because they will always support me and run with me.

So, tell me now...Should I run? Should I slow down? Should I quit?

*Runner.....signed off.

***
not a perfect song for this post, but look at it from different perspective..and it might work ^o^

Ordinary People - John Legend
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay,
maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
You never know baby youuuu and I

Posted by Ddee at 12:38 PM

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

A..nimators performance was superb. Their songs melt my heart. Guess I like soft-rock now *haha*
B..usy with work, busy with appointments. Is the word 'busy' written all over my head now?
C..an I wish upon the star? Can I dance among the clouds? Can I be strong just like the sun?
D..ee-moe-tea-fate-ed
E..rr I think I haven't fulfilled any of my new year's resolutions...hiks
F..ort Minor is coming to Singapore. Anyone got free tix?
G..ong Xi Fa Cai everyone *guk..guk..*
H..ope we all have a great year ahead...and I mean it!
I..can see the hurt in your eyes...
J..azz cafes are on search.
K..uala Lumpur. Should have gone there for this 4-day holiday -__-'
L..onging for great family reunion. My cousins just SMS-ed saying that it won't be a happening celebration without me back there *hahaha....so touched*
M..occa is marvellous. Like their songs, like their lyrics, like em much...and so grateful I could watch their performance at Esplanade *for free*
N..ot gonna let people ruin my life...we shall see *huhu violent mode on*
O..MG, I am totally broke now *sigh..*
P..hilippines I am coming!! Finally I got my supervisor's approval, but that means tons of work to do before and after the conference.
Q..ue sera sera...whatever will be will be..coz everything seems out of my hands..
R..umors keep on rolling. Feel free to entertain youfselves guys!
S.. entosa Getaway to spend my Chinese New Year. It's better be good ^.*
T..ired spiritually and physically. I need my vacation. I need my break. I need an extra suplement.
U..nbelievably mad/sad of myself. Get a life!
V..irtually active at night only [MSN mode on].
W..ish I am home. I wanna be home...
X..tinction of emotions leads to the need for a psychiatric and a psychologist.
Y..eah...I finished my monthly report *haha*
Z..ipping my mouth and mind is the best thing I can do for now...*finger-crossed*

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR everyone!!
Wish you a happy and prospear year ahead....*guk..guk..

Posted by Ddee at 3:40 PM

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

As I promised in my previous entry, I shall now discuss [or actually 'bitching' hihi] about my colleagues at work.

There are three people in my Marketing Department. Previously there were four people whom I work closely with, but since they are splitting the network into Singapore and Malaysia [SAM] and PAN Regional [PR], now I work directly with solely three people. A director and two executives.

My director is around 30-40 years old, I think. I have no idea if she's married or happily single. No signs of family pictures, no phone calls from her kids, no phone calls asking about how the kids are doing. So, I have no idea although she seems like a family-oriented kinda woman.

An independent woman with medium length hair who always means what she says. For instance, I asked her about budget code for certain premium (they have these weird numbers to specify their budget and where to charge their expenses as well as revenues) and she answered that she has no idea about it. So, I thought she would try to find out from the Finance Department about this code [as I thought she mentioned she would find out *huhu*]. So, at later time I asked her again...and guess what?

"Diana, I have no idea about this code. I've told you about this before, haven't I?"

However, she looks very sweet when she smiles [which she does pretty often]. It's just that I have to understand that she IS a very busy lady(she IS the director, remember?) that she may not have the time to chat and introduce new things to me properly. She also recognises people's effort and she would thank people sincerely. So, it's great to know that your effort are being appreciated. Overall, I would give her 7.5* so far...

The second one is the Executive. She is a mixed of Chinese and Malay, so yeah...she speaks fluent Chinese, English and Malay (with the right accent and intonation guys!). She is learning Hokkian now "to help her in any way she needs" as she put it.

A very nice, understanding, approachable and patient lady who always welcomes me should I have a huge question mark on my head or anything to clarify. What I like about her is the way she asks for help, she would try to understand my workload first before asking me to assist her. A very well-spoken lady which never shows her impatient or temper *so kewl huh!*. Very down to earth lar...I can just walk to her cubicle and bug her, yet she always smiles in return.

The third one is the most difficult lady *haha*. A moody and short-tempered woman who likes to curse...A LOT!! and I mean A LOT. In a day, you can hardly count the word sh*t and fc*k simply because two hands and two feet are not enough. When she starts raising her pitch and looks annoyed...hahaha beware everyone!! OK lar, she is not that bad, but she is just impatient I think. She is easily annoyed by small-small things that may deem unimportant and trivial for her [when it actually is important]. She is a nice person [I mean it] with a sweet chubby face *hehe*, especially when she really needs help in doing something....or buying something. Lunch anyone?

She likes to give me the nitty gritty work that she has no time to deal with or simply because she has no idea how to do it as well. The only problem is...sometimes these small-small things become NOT SMALL *haha what a broken English* as she keeps on giving things to do without taking time into consideration. Ow..and what about works from my supervisor and another Executive too ^^' Yah..talk about these women!! Let's see if I am gonna curse alot to in the future *muahaha....shuu...shuu...don't come near me.

However, no matter what, I DO enjoy my internship so far. I've learned so many new things and I am trying my best not to disappoint them [which is not as easy as what some people might think, coz the mistakes are not always mine]. I meet bunch of new people at work, the friendly ones, the sweet ones, the helpful ones, the fierce ones, the you-must-respect-me-coz-you-are-an-intern type and many more. At least, up till now I am given the trust and opportunities to handle their stuffs. Unlike some of my friends who are still mingling around and enjoying themselves at the office.

I am learning something....

And I am gaining lotsa things....including those goodies hahaha

ps: Tired of packing the goodies, counting the stocks, carrying the boxes and moving them all *I am muscular now hahaha*

Posted by Ddee at 12:21 AM

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Monday, January 16, 2006

Some people whom I emailed today can see I am in a good mood.

My MSN nick makes some people jealous.

And I can hardly stop smiling....even on the bus and when I was walking.

I am HAPPEE today!!!

An SMS reply from my mom brightens my day. I SMS-ed her when I was in the bus to my lovely 'Muzik TePe'. And I didn't expect her to reply me, but she did. Agh..mommy huhu! *kok mala melo2 geje*

Ow...I also received a limited edition tee of A Bathing Ape for eMTePe Asia Aid. My friend passed the tee to me, saying that her supervisor asked her to give it to me since I helped her out last Friday to pack her cupboard full of CDs and posters. *Hiks...so nice....so sweet... didn't expect this, too.* And she said the tee worths $100++....hihi I got limited edition tee yey. *behave Dee, behave!!*

And now, after I moved to Tower2 where most of my friends are sitting, it is so much merrier, especially Caspar. Listening to his jokes and stories always makes us laugh. He would ask people how they spent their weekend, is this funny, is that fun and bla bla bla. A very eccentric and happy-go-lucky chap. For instance, there were 2 BLUE (the boyband) standing posters which belong to the Talent Artist Relation that sorta 'dumped' on the floor. He took them and put beside his seat. Then, he started asking people how does it look like, is it nice. Hahaha....always make our days.
*Yes Caspar, they look nice, but would be much nicer if it was you on the pic ^^v*

Today was also the first time I had a 1.5 hour lunch break *hohoho*. Went for dinner with an @er from SMU. Finally I got the chance to explore the other part of Singapore. So, we went to have Wan Tan Mee at a plaza somewhere nearby. It's yummy. Then proceed to have dessert 'Tau Hua' at another place *sigh, I lost my sense of direction*. On our way, I was introduced to pub/bar/whatsoever it is called that plays live music *hahaha evil mode*. Andit plays blues. Wanna try anyone? [disclaimer: since I intro-ed this to you...it's your treat k! *lol*]

Hm..so what I did today was helping my supervisor moved into her new cubicle and a few paperwork besides a meeting with the HR people. I carried boxes, cleaned tables, sorted documents that were scattered on the floor *dunno belong to who...sigh...* Luckily my supervisor only has few stuffs compares to others. So, moving TV, tables, chairs, heaps of boxes, etc. Yeah..I had my first exercise of the year and I am getting more muscular now *muahaha* XD. My supervisor's comment: "Hey, you're pretty strong for a small gurl!" Waks...gulp!

I got to know few more people at MTV. Apparently now I am sitting at a more strategic area where more people gather and communicate *haha previously I spent most of my time at my own cubicle doing my stuffs*. I am placed in a middle of nowhere with just a table and my computer. I am going to move again.....very soon I think.

Hm..what else makes me happy? ow...I sent more than 50 SMSes today. Many of them were craps, but managed to make me smile and almost laugh my lungs out. Thanks @ers, you guys rockz!! Ow....if you read this: JIA YOU for your competition Ms Erica, nice try for a bikini party Ms Bobby and yeah...so much for a dark secret dude!

Ok lar, I better off my crap now..hahaha

I hope my happiness spreads....JIA YOU all!!

Owh..I'm gonna tell you guys more about my colleagues yar...hahaha *this is fun*

Cheers,
Dee-rasuki kebahagiaan

Posted by Ddee at 11:05 PM

| 3 guides for Eden  

Sunday, January 15, 2006

It was a long day yesterday. But it was not the final day.

It's a long journey to go, with hiccups and obstacles along the journey. But we strive till the end. MUST!!

I started my day by setting my alarm clock. When it rang at 8am, I set it back to 8.30. And when it rang again, I continued my sleep. At 9.30 I woke up with worry. OMG! I haven't practise my speech for the election day. As it's a BIG day for me, I need more time to prepare myself before I depart. Shirt (ok), pants (ok), shoes (ok), bag(ok), proxy form(ok), speech(ok), change of clothes(oh no...must iron first), and bla bla bla....

On my way to SMU, I started to recollect what I've written down for my speech. Would it exceed 5 mins? Would they get bored? Would they ask too much questions? Would the seniors and alumnis be there? and so much more questions that kept my head spinining and increased my heart-beat level. *sigh*

To make it short, I was superbly delighted when there were many AIESECers from NTU. *Hiks...so touched* You guys are marvelous! And even happier when they told you that they came for the sake of voting for you because they saw your name on the list. *Hiks...even more teary*. And the feeling was tremendous when they created posters to show their support for us *Aiya..tears ran dry*.

In the end, I think most of us just scrapped our prepared-speech away. We chose to speak from the heart rather than speaking in a diplomatic way. And yes... I lurve my speech eventhough it means that I spent my whole night long and days of worriness for nothing. *eh..I still used some of the ideas lar... * Hope they liked it too.

The Q&A session was...er...no comment. Did a bad job there especially when I was asked questions that made me uncomfortable. And things about AIESEC International that I don't really understand...for now. *sigh*

Then the announcement of the result that was followed by our ritual, where the current Member Committee (MC) who is holding the position would "pour" bottles of water on his/her successor. So, that's why I need to bring a change of clothes. Asked my feeling then: "I AM WET!!" haha

Yah, finally the election is over. It's now the learning time. Time to challenge myself again. Time to inspire and be inspired in return over and over again (coz I've been inspired soooo many times that I crave for more *haha*).

Ow..we went to Marche for dinner and Wei Leng's B-day celebration. I ordered Fish & Wedges that costs me $8.9. Tried the beer too, eh.. it tastes so-not-like-beer. Sang the B-day song in a few languages that there was an earthquake at Marche. It was so much FUN and I was really glad that some junior members joined us along, aside from the trainees. Hey, this is how you expose yourself to the AIESEC family. Welcome bro n sis!! I finally get the opportunity to know you guys better...waks...lurve it to the max.

So, how to end a great night? Memoirs of Geisha ended my day.

Time for a sweet dream.

ps: thanks and thanks everyone...

"With great responsibility comes great power"

Posted by Ddee at 9:17 PM

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Friday, January 13, 2006

I started my day with a big smile.

I greeted the -cleaning- auntie with a big "MONIN".

She was surprised, and said that long time no see.

I walked over to Canteen A to catch the bus.

I stopped and gave way to a car.

And the driver smiled.

I smiled too.

And as I was jiggin' my way to the bus stop...

I smiled to a passer-by...

What a wonderful life if everyone could brighten other people's life.

Just a smile...

That costs you none.

The burdens are lifted up and it is so much easier to face the hiccups in life.

And yeah...nothing is even more precious than a friend who is standing by your side to support and catch you when you fall.

Thanks friends.

Thanks for making my day.

Hope I make yours, too.

Posted by Ddee at 9:42 AM

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

5* lists

My 5* lists:

*Exhausted
*Confused
*Pressurised
*Stressed
*Challenged

**Laughter
**Fun
**Learning experience
**Knowledge
**Friendship


***Stronger and tougher
***More people-oriented
***Able to deal better with time and priorities
***Knowledgeable and wiser
***D-I-A-N-A as a whole DIANA


* is what I'm currently feeling
** is what I'm getting in return
***is what I'm gonna be

I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul...
but...
Will be I be more 'human'?

ps: Thanks for ya support and encouragement dudes & dudettes. They mean the world to me now... Ganbatte ne!!

Posted by Ddee at 11:23 PM

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

first post

Dear diary,

How's your life going on? Does it go as what you expect it to be, as what you want?
Me...I have to say it's tough. I am spiritually tired.

At work, it's not really what I expect it to be. But maybe this is just the beginning and it would turn better as time goes by. I am demotivated to be frank, but I am not totally unhappy. I am just discontented. I expect more....

Keep telling myself: "Hey, this is the beginning of the year, one of the executives is away for holiday and they are having restructuring at the moment, so they don't have time to brief you and intro you to the others."

But how true is this? I shall wait for the next few weeks.

What my supervisor told me was I will be doing a lot of financial stuffs. Mention those Purchase Orders (which we are not supposedly do acc to the announcement by the Head Secretary), Invoices, Travel & Expenses, Premiums Order, chasing payment and so on. Sigh...It's a dry work.

However, I am glad that she actually invited me to join their meeting (Ad Sales, Client Services and Marketing Dept.). It's a total FUN. They had a very effective meeting in less than an hour. They were joking around, teasing each other and yet still throwing alot of creative ideas for the upcoming premiums for the year. I couldn't stop laughing at them....or with them? hehe BOTH.

Meanwhile, my life at AIESEC is taking another step upward. I am running as the president for NTU Local Committee. It is a lot of work to do. A lot of pressure. A lot of hopes. A lot of expectations. A lot of readings (yeah..stacks of them which I printed at my office *psst....dun tell em k!)*. A lot of preparations.

However, as I've been spending two night of reading some of these stuffs before I slept, I now realize and know more things about AIESEC that I find irrelevant and hard to relate to. Gosh...I am actually part of this huge, professional organization. And what excites me more is the fact that it is run by undergradute students. The youths....and that is, PERIOD.

I had a Meet The People (MTP) session at SMU [one of the unis in Singaporewhich is strategic ally located in the city, with lots and lots of cafes *huhuhu who doesn't want?*. It was my very first experience of MTP during my years in AIESEC. I was nervous and I don't think I did well. The feedback given by the chair was I have to learn more about AIESEC knowledge, to find out more about each departments involve. Yup....Will be having extensive crash course on Tuesday with the rest of the candidates.

Another two MTP sessions will be held on Wednesday and Thursday at NTU and NUS respectively. Hope I can do better. Hope I'll survive through the currents *hahaha* and hope my supervisor will let me have early leaves for these sessions.

Btw, it's not bad to have the Meet The Parents session too....hehehe *daydreaming*. In accordance to this, must definitely ask Suhu for tips *wink*.

So yeah, that's how I spent my first week of this new year.

Ow...Holiday at home rocks...karaoke, shopping, eating, gaining weight, meeting families and friends, watching DVDs, keeping tracks of the gossips a.k.a. Infotainment *haha*, catching up and sharing of stupidities are GREAT.

Take care everyone....and wait to hear from you.

ps: My first post for the new year [hope this is not the last *muahaha]



*****

Dare You To Move
by Switchfoot
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Posted by Ddee at 7:25 PM

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